My journey to motherhood

I usually read personal blogs where people write about their lives,  opinions and their journey to motherhood. And I thought to myself let me do a blog post and write something about my journey. Let me share a part of my life.

I am a teen mom, well I was one I'm not a  teenager anymore but I had my son when I was 17.  I was doing grade 10 and I was so clueless about raising a child but I kept my baby I didn't terminate. I still ask myself why I never did, don't get me wrong I love my son but my life would've been much simpler had I terminated.

I had a normal pregnancy never even thought about having a child with inabilities. My boyfriend at the time was 2 years older than me and he was pleased that we going to have a child. So in my mind it was like okay atleast I won't be doing this alone, I'll have support from the father, i was in for a surprise.

When I was two months pregnant I found out that he had cheated and gotten another girl pregnant. I was beyond hurt but we worked out our differences because I thought he loved me and we had something special.

At the time I was still residing in Mount Fletcher, a farm town in the Eastern cape. I dropped out of school to have my son in 2014, when I was suppose to be doing grade 11. The baby daddy never even bothered to ask how I am or how his son is doing. It was like we didn't exist. I was mad, hurt, felt betrayed, I was empty. 

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Do racist remarks expire? Bianca Schoombee announces she wont be entering Miss SA

image: Twitter

 

Bianca schoombee, an aspiring model who was interested in entering for Miss SA 2020 felt the wrath of black twitter when her racist and body shaming tweets from 6 years ago surfaced.

 

In her defence she wrote an apology where she stated that she was only a teenager when she tweeted those. She further stated how devastated she was that someone has dug up her tweets and displayed her childhood in a negative way, and that she is no longer the person she was 6 years ago. Is racism a phase people go through?

I too believe that people grow and change their opinions about certain issues, but miss Schoombee was not bothered about the remarks she made.

Talking as if making racial remarks at the age of 15 is a norm. I never made white jokes when I was her age, this shows how she was raised and what kind of people surrounds her.  

Empress Ree, who attended high school with Biaca came forward and attested that Bianca is a racist. She made a whole thread about how Bianca and her friends bullied them in Welkom Gimnasium high school.

click to see Empress Ree's thread on Twitter

Bianca later announced that she was pulling out of the contest.

In a country with a racial past like ours, racism should be equivalent to terrorism. To me it seems like they have the same impact. They both instill fear, disrupt societies and degrade one's dignity. 

This should be a lesson to all people who use social media, be wary of the things you post online the internet never forgets. 

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Food that can help with constipation

Ain't there days where you just don't have appetite or don't know what you want to eat? That's an everyday thing for my son. He is picky and his food preferences changes all the time.

This month he could enjoy having cornflakes for breakfast next month it's weetbix the following week it's porridge and it's frustrating sometimes but I've found a way to accommodate him and his preferences.

I buy different cereal and make him choose what he wants to eat. Choice making is an effective communication strategy that encourages a child to participate in and interact with the environment. 

Not all of us have the luxury of buying different cereal for our children. You can use what you have like porridge, let them choose if they want margarine, milk or peanut butter in their porridge.

My son suffers from constipation, so I give him food that is high in fiber. I usually give him Future life 2 or 3 times a week. I can't give it to him everyday because he gets diarrhea, then I'd have to give him an anti-diarrhea medication and he would be constipated again.

Chia seeds are also high in fiber and you can find them at clicks. You soak them in water and you get a gel like texture. I usually add them to his porridge or yoghurt. His dietician suggested that I also try to give him oat bran. There's also medication, lacson, if your child doesn't like the texture of the other food.  

All this food that is high in fiber is good for everyone, I also eat the chia seeds when I'm constipated and take soflax tablets.

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Playtime made educational and therapeutic!

Autistic children are hyperactive in nature and they don't react well with routine changes. With the lockdown currently going on, children may be restless so you might have to find ways to keep them busy.

My son is 6 years old and he is picky, so it's important to find things he likes and make them fun so that he doesn't get bored. 

The environment is also important, it must be childproof and peaceful. A calm environment will help decrease any anxiety. Most children with autism are hypersensitive to loud noise, bright lights, smell, movement, taste and touch. Try to reduce environmental stimulation of these triggers by limiting activities when your child is around or awake.

This is also a great time to teach them social skills, play skills and problem solving skills. Practise play skills with your child by using toys to act out a scene. 

Some children may like movement games like hide and seek, hop-scotch and tag. Movement games also help develop their motor skills.

Motor skills are movements and actions of the muscles.

Playing games together helps your child practise turn-taking and following rules. Encouraging your child to take turns and follow rules will help him learn how to play  and interact with others. Praising him for his behaviour also helps.
Teach your child to identify emotions in themselves and in others. You can do this by having visuals showing different emotions and you and your child can act out these emotions. Be patient,  if they don't want to do something do not force them.
Your play time doesn't have to always be educational and therapeutic. You can always enjoy playing with your kid and bonding with them.

check out Nontando Mhlongo's blog for more tips on things to do during the lockdown

Do you have other strategies on how to teach children social skills? Please leave a comment.

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How will you know your child is autistic?

Image: Google 

Autism is a developmental disorder that can cause communication and behavioral challenges. Autism symptoms for boys may be different from girls. 

Here are common signs you can look at:

 • Repetitive behavior- this is when your child likes doing the same thing. Like banging their head on the wall, rocking back and forth, Lining up toys and repeating noise or words.

• Sensitive to noise, smells and touch- cover their ears when in a noisy place, or smell things before eating them.

• Delayed speech- it is common, but a child could be able to speak well and be autistic.

• Playing alone-  They don't interact or play with other kids. They usually watch others play.

• Lack of awareness of danger.

• No direct eye contact- They don't react when their name is being called. They don't smile back when being smiled at.

• Doesn't show affection- they don't like hugs and cuddles.

• Have strange attachment to objects.

• Hyperactive and sleeping problems. They don't sleep, they can play the whole day and go to bed around midnight and be the first ones to wake up in the morning.

You can never be sure your child is autistic until you take them to your GP or to a paediatrician. If your child is at school you can talk to their teacher for advice and where you can get the right support. 

Please leave a comment if you have suggestions of any content you would like to see on this blog.

image: Google 

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Autism is the normal I know

I think you'll agree with me when I say there isn't enough awareness about Autism.

I started this blog to inform, educate and help people who are raising autistic children and those who have relatives that have autism. I'm not an expert but I think as someone who is raising an autistic child I have a lot to share.

Autism is a lifelong developmental disorder that affects how a person perceives and interact with others. It also affects how they see the world around them. It is a spectrum condition meaning while people with autism can share difficulties their autism will affect them differently. It is the fastest growing developmental disorder.There are no known causes of autism. 

Every autistic child is different, adapt to their ways of doing things. They need extra time to process, they need help with social interactions, some children are sensitive to noise and they have repetitive behavior. Be patient, don't shout at them as you will cause more confusion. 

Remember never try to change them.

Did you find this blog post helpful? If so please share it with a friend. Next week I'll post about how will you know your child has autism and how to deal with tantrums.

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